What? I Have to Talk to Them?

     We have all heard it said that communication is the key to a good relationship. It is not the only thing that you need to have a good relationship, but it is one of them. In order to work together with another person in harmony, you need to be able to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and actions. This goes for any type of relation, whether you are married, friends, or strangers. When you are in a relationship where you spend a lot of time together and make decisions together, you need to set up a way of communicating.

    When I was a missionary, I was always with a companion. We were with each other all day, every day. It was sometimes difficult to get to a point where we could work well together. I had many companions, which meant there were many times that I had to find the best way to communicate with the person I was spending all of my time together. With every person, there is a slightly different way of communicating. Some of my companions, we got along right away. With others it took more work to reach a point of understanding and companionship.

    I remember one companion in particular. When we were first put together, I just went about my life the way I normally did. However, we could not find our groove, and we were constantly clashing with one another. Eventually, we finally sat down and discussed what was going on. We also laid out the expectations we had for each other. Once we finally got to a point where we understood each other and understood the best way to communicate, we were able to work well together, and we became good friends.

    One of the things I learned from this experience is that you need to set expectations at the beginning of a relationship. That way the other person understands what you are expecting from them, as well as how you would like them to act in certain situations. When you talk about what to do in certain circumstances, before the circumstances arise, you have a much easier time working together to get through the situation.

    I think it is very important to strive to work as one unit in a relationship. It is important to be on the same level of understanding. I have often heard of kids who would ask their mom for something because they know that their dad will say “no”, or they will ask their dad because they know their mom would not be okay with it. Growing up, I never had that. I would always know whomever I asked it would be, “let me talk to your dad” or “let me talk to your mom first”. It was frustrating as a kid because you could never sneak around one parent, and it took longer to get an answer to something. Now that I am older, I really respect the amount of communication my parents have put into their relationship.

    As I have grown up and pictured what my future husband and I’s relationship would be like, I always pictured a type of relationship where we understand each other so well that we can communicate without words. To get to that point, however, it takes years of communicating well with one another. It is after years of really getting to know each other through lots of communication. To really get to know someone, you have to do a lot of talking and making that effort to get to know the other person. That is the way you develop a deep and meaningful relationship.